It's not cool turning 27. It's old. It's adult.
But you know what is cool? Turning 12! And what better way to celebrate my 27th birthday, than to recount my 12th birthday? Friends, in honor of this inane occasion, I present HomeValley Through the Ages, via excerpts from the actual diary of HV:
Sunday, February 2, 1992
I got this diary for my twelfth birthday from Aunt Gina and Uncle Tim. I hope to write in it everyday. Yesterday I went shopping with Grandmom (she came from Colorado) and Susan and her mom and Mike went. I wanted to get Feli's (2007 HV says: Fila sneakers) after I got some clothes and Susan said no. But it was Grandmom's decision because it was her money! Sometimes Susan gets on my nerves! And then she said, there's lots of nice less expensive shoes! I was on the verge of tears! I mean, Grandmom was taking me out for Christmas and my birthday and Susan was butting in! And today, for my birthday party, Dad said, "I heard you weren't too nice yesterday!" Now that I'm a pre-teen if they think that's bad, wait till I'm a teen!
(2007 HV says: Wow.)
(And also, I was completed obsessed with being a "hormonal teenager" at this age and acting out, because I thought that's what bonafide teens did. I think I read too many Sweet Valley High books or something.)
(Also, I go on to list all of the items I received for my birthday. Of note: a Michael Jackson CD and a Beverly Hills 90210 Giant Pin.)
(I heart Brandon Walsh!!)
Close enough to my 13th birthday:
Tuesday, January 19, 1993
Last weekend I went away to Trenton for a dance competition and convention. It was so great! We got 2nd place!
Today we went to the dentist and Mike has 2 cavities and I have none! DUM DA DUM DUM... Braces! Mike and I both need them. Everyone at dance who has them says they are really painful for awhile and then they start to loosen up. I think I'm gonna die! Railroad tracks across my teeth! Ahh! But I can't wait to have perfectly straight teeth!
(2007 HV says: Should have worn your retainer, dumbass.)
Oh my God. I almost don't want to share this next part; but, well, here we go:
Another dilemma, but this guy in school, Danny Bonner. Well, I liked him for about a week so far and guess who else likes him? Allie! And guess who never said anything? Stupid old me! His party is coming up and I think he likes me, but if he asks me to dance should I say yes? You know what, I think I will say yes, and if Alison gets mad I'll say I did it as friends. But I won't ask him to dance. Hopefully there'll be someone else to chase there.
(2007 HV says: Tramp! And also, I believe Danny Bonner danced with Koos at his 13th birthday party, and well, in 2004, he married her.)
(I go on to say that my step-dad went into rehab. Those weren't easy times.)
Aww. My 14th birthday was a little sad, y'all:
Tuesday, February 1, 1994
My b-day. I'm 14 yrs. old. I'm going out to dinner on Saturday with dad and then going to Dan Bonner's party at the Ramada hotel. I hope I fit in.
On Sunday I have my birthday party at Grandpop's. Today we voted nominees for king and queen of hearts. I didn't get one vote. I was crushed. My brother got nominated for 7th grade. Isn't life unfair sometimes?
(2007 HV says: Geez. Depressed much? But seriously, y'all, it was hard being 14. )
(Well, can we all agree this exercise kinda backfired? Because, um, that was kinda melancholy.)
(Don't worry; I'm fine now. I am sure I fit in at the Ramada and all.)
(I'm totally happy at 27. Life is very, very good. So maybe I just taught myself a little lesson here? It wasn't all roses through the years, was it?)
Happy Birthday to me.