Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Complete Idiot's Guide To Birthin' Babies

J and I attended all day birthin' class on Saturday, which was a rare treat. Our instructor was a bubbly lactation nurse named Jen, and she did a fantastic job with the material.

We learned a whole hell of a lot, and some things I have chosen to disregard completely. (I'm lookin' at you, Group B Strep test. LORD.) And one HI-larious thing I learned was that J and I? We've got identical classroom dispositions.

We're uber-nerds.

Yes, friends, not surprisingly, we are the geeky kids in class. (Although we did not have the opportunity to learn, if J - like me - chooses to sit at the head of the class. I think not, but only because his vision is so good.)

Neither of us is shy (nay, we are extreme extroverts), so we asked questions. Many questions. And shared. A lot. But come on, guys! You all paid good money for this class! Let's get all of our burning questions about pooping during delivery out in the open here! (For the record, I did not ask that question. Someone else brought it up.)

At one point, my loving husband raised his hand and said, "My wife thinks she is blogging during labor. Is there WiFi?"

Real funny, J. The class chuckled, and I shrugged sheepishly. "Not during delivery," I mumbled.

(For the record, there is wireless. Score!)

So now we know how to swaddle, how to comfort, and how to diaper the Ninja, plus, you know, the ideal birth process. They even had doulas come in and talk to the class about relaxation techniques, which warmed my little urban hippie heart.

6 more weeks.


Mama_Bear_Sarah said...

ah, yes, the lovely strep b test. no worries :)

Mountain Momma said...

Really, it all goes out the window when labor starts anyways. You only have to remember two things - breathe and relax as much as possible.
I am 29 weeks and suddenly feeling very LARGE. You look fantastic.