Monday, July 19, 2010

An Old Friend Returns...

Get a life lift? Don't mind if I do!

I've just subscribed to O Magazine again after a long absence. Welcome home, old friend. How I've missed your sage advice!

Do y'all read O? You'd be wise to pick up a copy. It's therapy in crisp, colorful pages; at 4.50 an issue, it's a bargain. Plus, this month is the "deals" issue. Oprah be giving you Vizio TVs at 30% off; AND there are over $200,000 worth of prizes to win! Oh, O. Would that we could meet and be best friends, and would that I thought of this.

At the end of the magazine, Ms. Winfrey regales us with what she knows for sure.

Here's what Ms. HomeValley knows for sure, in no particular order.

  1. Our wedding reception playlist? Hands down the greatest wedding playlist you could ever conceive. It will blow your mind and knock your socks off and then slap you in the face. I will sell it to you at a discount rate. It only had one flaw, which we can remedy for you: we didn't end the evening with H to the Izzo, by Hova. I mean, that would have been RIDICULOUS.

  2. I am really overthinking Twitter. I have nightmares about hashtags, and no, I still don't really understand what the fuck that means, damnit. I am at the crossroads of information overload; and I need to decide if I will stay or if I will go. (Unfollowing Roger Ebert helped. Lord, that man tweeted about every three seconds. No lie.)

  3. My son is an absolute joy. How did we get along without him for so long? Brother sleeps nearly nine consecutive hours in the night, and then takes a three-hour morning nap. His mama is very, very blessed.

  4. All women should have ONE YEAR at home with their babies, PERIOD. Six weeks short-term disability, plus another six weeks of unpaidFMLA - if you qualify? Shame on you, United States government. Shame. On. You.

  5. I need to get my ass in gear and get moving. In career, fitness, and domestic life. Stay tuned...


Anonymous said...

#5 can be reworded to simply say "boxes."
Granted, only a few would understand but so what?

love you,
Mr. P

Homevalley said...

I laugh every time I think of "Working on my fitness." The boxes entry will be written.

Love you right back. Also - I found the shoes.

Shannon said...

1. It would really make my day to hear some Hova right now. Alas, it is impossible as my work computer has no speakers and there is nary a radio/mp3/ipod/boom box around.

2. I signed up, looked around and immediately left. There is such a thing as social networking overload. I hate to be left out of something but I think you have to pick and choose carefully or it will drive you insane. Which is really what you just said so I'm not sure why I'm being a Pete and Repeater.

3. Yay! I'm so glad, that's awesome to hear.

4. A-freaking-MEN

5. Start by digging up some Hova for me :) Kthx

Homevalley said...

Shan - just picture the end of the reception, the crowd is happy and drunk and sweaty from all the dancing, and then, this: "I'd like to thank everyone for coming out tonight. You could have been anywhere else in the world..." SERIOUSLY BIGGEST LIFE REGRET.

And word - Twitter hurts my brain.