Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Suit Yourself.

Swear to God: there are few pieces of clothing that make me feel LESS sexy than a business suit.

(Now go back and read this post's title. See what I did there? Clever.)

Ladies, I need guidance. I feel like I should be wearing business suits (after all, I am in business); but I also feel - as my H would say - like a giant pudwacker in just about every suit I own.

Today, I am in DC, and for this occasion, I packed a blue pin-striped suit. I paired it with a silk, lime-green sleeveless blouse and deep burgundy pumps. I styled it up with a few strands of pearls. I swept my hair back in an effortless knot.

And still: I felt like a grandmother. Nay, like a douchebag grandmother. Like your giant pudwacker douchebag grandmother.

(No offense, FarMor. You are totally more stylish than moi in my stupid shapeless suits.)


I have tried all kinds: Ann Taylor, Banana, Anne Klein, Jones New York, all to no avail. I have gone to my tailor and had pants taken in to fit my form. And still, I have no ass to speak of in any of these pants. They give me saggy ass! And why - why?!? - are suits still manufactured with shoulder pads? Now I look like a douchebag, a pudwacker, your grandma, and also: a linebacker?

I am willing to pay for a quality suit. But does such a suit exist? Do I have to go with Prada here, and chalk it up to an investment piece?

Kindly post your advice.




Anonymous said...

i have found that Calvin Klein suits fit the best, you will be spending a small fortune, but a good suit will last you until you really are a grandmother. -Allie

Grace said...

I embrace the douchebag linebacker look.

It used to be you had to screw the boss to penetrate a leadership position. (See what I did there?)

Physically intimidating is the new sexy. Deal with it.

Mountain Momma said...

Ah, the dreaded suit. That's one reason I left DC and moved here to Tahoe, where there's not a suit to be seen for miles. You think they'd start making those outfits more comfortable by now. I much prefer jeans and t-shirts.

Anonymous said...

When investing in a suit, unless you are EXTREMELY lucky, nothing off the rack will fit like a custom suit from scratch. Also, no matter how much you spend for something off the rack, it will never last as long as something made custom; the quality in cut, fabric, and build are just not there in your stores.

If you are having THIS much trouble buying off the rack, even with adjustments being made, you don't seem to be one of the lucky few that fits in to mass produced business wear.

I have been and continue to be in your shoes, and going to a tailor and having them cut something for you will change your life. The good ones know how to make adjustments, they will cut to your specifications and with the proper care and style, the suit will last you ten years.

Find a good custom clothier and your problem will be solved. The best part is that if they make it and you are not happy about it, they have to remake it. Just find someone good and let them help you through it; they will typically start small to get your feet wet and your budget low. Then, once you are comfortable, you can build from there.

Just stop throwing good money away on mass produced crap, it is all pinned, sliced, and diced to fit the models in the shots perfectly. Factory cuts just don't work, move on and save yourself!

Homevalley said...

Thank you, ladies! I am on it.

Anonymous said...

Albeit I am a little late, I wholeheartedly endorse suits from JCrew.