Not like, daaammnnn, that hair is bangin'! Your hair is fiiinnee, girl!
Like, thin. Breakable. Brittle. Fine. So fine I am often irrationally angry at my mother. You're Italian, I scream inwardly. Your hair should be thick and lustrous!
Then I remind myself that I am already a wildly successful general interest blogger, so come on already. You can't have it all, miss.
(Though I would murder for Keri Russell's hair.)
Today I went for a trim with the greatest hair stylist evah. I love her, and the fact that she never makes me feel that my hair is unworthy. After she has artfully sheared my paltry mane, my hair looks strong. Healthy. And shiny! And for just one day - until tomorrow, when it all goes to shit - I think: Fine hair is in. Fine hair is beautiful. You wish you had hair so thin.
That said, today I implored Annette, desperate, an addict in need of a fix. I need hair products! I cried. Please, just a little something for the volume.
"Well the Pureology products are really great. They're expensive, but everybody loves them."
Expensive? Ha. There is no price too great for good hair. *shakes head solemnly*
(I am reminded of the time I was trying to cut corners at my opthamalogist's office. Well, is there a less expensive contact, maybe? To which he replied: Melissa, you don't want to go cheap with your eyes. Touche, doc. Touche.)
And so, I grabbed the Purelogy products off the shelf, along with a protective styling product guaranteed to give me VOLUME, slapped it all on the counter, and paid, though not before making another appointment for next week. That's when I get the color, babies. You know you have been watching too much America's Next Top Model when you start getting all experimental. (I'm bored, I told my benevolent stylist. Let's shake things up a bit.)
I walked out of there with my head held high, gloriously wispy strands of blonde hair glowing in the afternoon sun.
Then J called, and told me he was going to buy Photoshop. He wanted to make sure I was okay with that.
"Oh yeah? Well, I just spent $54 on shampoo and conditioner, and I hope you're okay with that!" (Which of course actually meant: I dare you to challenge this purchase, dude. Try me.)
He only gave a little sigh, and remarked, "This software will be cheaper than your haircut."
But as we all know, there is no price too great for good hair, y'all.