Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Are You There, Internet? It's Me, HomeValley.

Hey.

How's it going?

Yeah, so, we need to talk.

Sit down.

I don't know quite how to say this...

Look, I'm just going to come out with it.

I no longer believe I have any readers.

Y'all have been too silent for too long, and now I just don't have any faith in you anymore. Now, I read the stats (the tiny, tiny numbers) and they tell me people are visiting. But hello? I posted on Monday a story about how a pigeon UNLEASHED a shit storm of fury on me in Buenos Aires, and nobody said boo.

Testing, testing.

If you are reading, tell me you are alive. I worry about you. Leave a comment, even if you do it anonymously, and even if it only says "Present". (But really, you should probably do it anonymously and post movie quotes, 'cause I love me some movie quotes.)

Give me the strength to go on, gentle readers. Am I the proverbial blog in the forest? Holla at your girl.

15 comments:

Grace said...

I'm thinking I might take that new chick from Logistics....if things go well, I might be showing her my O-Face. O, Oh, Oh Ohhhh!" You know what I'm talkin' about.

Homevalley said...

I love you.

Koos said...

I remember that time Grace was feeding seagulls in Wildwood, and then she fell asleep and one crapped on her. And we didn't wake her up to tell her about it because we thought she deserved for feeding them.

Homevalley said...

I love you too.

And I thought about that when it happened to me! Karma.

Grace said...

Assholes.

Anonymous said...

"It's in my hair...It's in my hair....get it out....get it out....it is not funny.....get it out"...."walk faster, I need to get home...come on J, this is not funny".......but oh, it was.

J

Anonymous said...

i never got crapped on by a bird. kinda makes me wish i did.

-Allie

Anonymous said...

I have been crapped on by a seagull on the beach. Not a pleasant experience and I feel your pain, dear.



-Mr. Patterson

Anonymous said...

i catch up with the blog all the time! and the bird shit fiasco caused me to spit my drink across my desk... hilarious....at least you didn't have one just land on your head and refuse to move. true story. happened to me.

- kass

the_real_jc said...

I'm bbbaaaaaaccckkk!

the_real_jc said...

I heard this was a new SAT question...

What is worse?

A. Getting pooped on by a giant bird
B. Waking up to the amorma of tt's flatulence
C. Not having HBO
D. A and C

Homevalley said...

Aw, shucks, guys! I love you ALL. Kass - it is so good to hear from you, sister! And real JC, be still my heart, I just cracked up at the SAT question because, oh, the anwswer? ALL OF THE ABOVE.

Anonymous said...

Thanks to Toby, I have a strong prejudice against human resources. I believe that the department is a breeding ground for monsters. What I failed to consider, though, is that not all monsters are bad. Like E.T. Is Holly our extra-terrestrial? Maybe. Or maybe she's just an awesome woman from this planet.

Mountain Momma said...

Home Valley: I know just how you feel. Sometimes I feel like my blog is just sitting there lonely in the ethernet. But look - I'm reading yours, and commenting!

Homevalley said...

And I am reading yours, Mountain Momma! I love AllMediocre, in all its mediocrity.