Monday, August 14, 2006


Some examples of my suckage this evening:

  1. In my cranky state, I actually tried to pregame for a work function, but couldn't manage to open the $20 bottle of merlot in the minibar.
  2. I took a twenty minute shower despite running twenty minutes behind schedule (stupid wine bottle!) and while standing idly in said shower I sang Nick Lachey's "What's left of me."
  3. I did a fucking horrific job of popping my pimple. It became only slightly less pronounced but developed a halo of BRIGHT RED around the small mound of suckage.
  4. When I tried to cover it up, I realized I forgot my stupid bronzer.
  5. I also forgot hairspray.
  6. The front desk wouldn't bring me any.
  7. In the absence of bronzer, I tried to cover up my fucking BRIGHT RED zit with foundation and lots and lots of white powder.
  8. I resembled a BIG WHITE ghost, with a BRIGHT RED fucking pimple adorning its chin.
  9. I made eye contact with, and then promptly ignored, a Senior VP in the hotel lobby.
  10. My boss ignored my phone call for directions to the restaurant.
  11. I was fifteen minutes late for dinner because I stopped at a CVS on Hanover Street to purchase bronzer and hairspray.
  12. I thought about the suckage list I would compose on this blog while I waited in line at CVS.

To bed with me.


Anonymous said...

Put an ice cube on the zit, it will reduce the swelling. then use a drop of Visine to get the red out. it really works!

Homevalley said...

Visine - genius!