Wednesday, December 12, 2007


So last night I wrote and wrote and in the end, I appreciated what I had to say about God and my religious beliefs, but still felt a bit uneasy about the blog entry.

I attributed the nagging feeling to a bit of self-doubt, perhaps an "over-share", but I soldiered on and hit publish anyway. Then I watched The Office on TBS and finally fell asleep around 11:30 PM.

I was off and dreaming. I found myself in my childhood bedroom, sitting at my old wooden desk typing on my laptop, eagerly joining some sort of online writing program run by Oprah. (God, I am obsessed). Suddenly, a woman I didn't recognize entered my room and announced:

"Jesus is here to see you, Miss."

Shit, I think.

Enter Jesus, with shoulder-length blonde hair, clad in white and burgundy robes. He's looking well, strong and handsome. He hurries into my old bedroom and I can see he is not pleased with me. He's quite exasperated, in fact.

I don't hang around to find out what JC is about to tell me. I wake myself with a start, heart pounding. I turn on the light and expect to find him at the foot of the bed, though mercifully he has gone.

Frightened, I breathe deeply and realize: I just blew up Jesus's spot.

You see what you didn't read in yesterday's post about religion was a deeply personal story about my mother, who has always asserted that God, in his infinite wisdom, will do whatever He can to you until you get your ass back to The Church. It was a beautiful tale of how that worked out for my mom, one that as I typed I wasn't sure I should share with the Internet, at least not just yet.

After pissing off Jesus in my dream, I tossed and turned until 4 AM, when I decided to boot up my computer and delete my mother's story from the post. The entry still flowed and I felt calmer, and immediately drifted off to sleep.

JC or only my subconscious, I did the right thing. Blogging is a dangerous sport, y'all.


Allie said...

there is a great line in Angels and Demons that really made sense to says something like each religion has its own set of rules and its own set of consequences... its the decison of the person if they want to be judged like that. I say the greatest faith in the world is faith in yourself!

Grace said...

You have dreams like that without herbal remedy? God damn. No pun intended.

Anonymous said...

There is another great part of A&D where the guy jumps out of a helicoptor and uses his cape to float safely down to Earth. Then about five minutes later he is at the top of the church declaring he is the man, it is awesome and it really makes you realize how quickly a great story can become complete crap...still gives me chills...

Allie said...

Ha Ha Ha!! pretty much that whole book sucks...HATED the end! but good story, though. the movie will prob. be just as bad as divinci code.

Homevalley said...

They are making the Angels and Demons movie; imagine the possibilities for that parachute jump!

Also, yes, JC comes to me in dreams, and as Koos pointed out, also rather oddly gets announced by a random secretary. Respek.

Anonymous said...

For that movies's sake, I hope they bust a serious "The Firm" move and just completely redo the ending. "The Firm" did not need it for the purpose of the movie, this one should advertise the fact that "we recreated the last half of the book the way it should have been done, we kept all Dan Brown's Angels and flushed is Demons down the toilet..."

Allie said...

And Tom Selleck should play Dr. Robert Langdon.

Anonymous said...

Totally random, but I don't think I know what email address you use any more, so I'm sending this to you here. How much would you have paid to be here 2 nights ago...
Spotted: Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen catching up with Full House pals John Stamos and Bob Saget at the bar of the Bowery hotel on Wednesday night.

Homevalley said...

PS - I actually think I might have exploded. It would have all been too awesome. Imagine it!

haha - flushing Demons... I love the idea, though I have not seen The Firm.

I am not sure about Selleck though, Allie. Maybe reigning Sexiest Man Alive, Matt Damon?

And hey! I actually liked DaVinci Code. Although it's one of those films that makes me feel incredibly stupid... Remember Langdon and Sir Ian explaining everything at Teabing's place? They were so matter of fact, like of course the holy grail is not an actual chalice. Simpletons.