Thursday, July 23, 2009

Cash Rules Everything Around Me: The Burritos of Shame!

There are a floppity-jillion perks to being married to J. He is good to my family. He listens to me when I speak. He does some most all of the cleaning. He consults me before he makes decisions, big and small. When we started dating, he single-handedly helped me take charge of my finances, get out of debt, and create an actual savings account! In which, I didn't merely sock away money just to transfer it to my checking account each time I rarely regularly bounced a check or overdrafted. Like, an actual savings account. With savings!

And whilst I am eternally grateful to this wonderful man, I must admit I miss the days when I could be deliciously irresponsible with mah cash.

Sigh. The shoes.

What is it with the dudes, ladies? Are they always scrutinizing your purchases? I mostly abhor shopping, but there are a few luxuries that I refuse to deny myself. These are:

* shoes (from DSW! Not effing Louboutins. Men.)
* burritos

That is about it, y'all. And each time I indulge, the inevitable interrogation:

"Where did those shoes come from?"
"Oh, what, so you went to the nail salon today? How much did that cost?"
"Another burrito? You just can't eat at home, can you?"

I live in a state of perpetual guilt about the money I spend. I'm stuffing newly purchased gladiator heels into the closet, hoping he won't notice. (This from the guy that once pulled a coin out of the "junk" drawer in our kitchen and demanded: "Who put this nickel in there?") When he inevitably does see the shoes, I am vehemently defending my choice of footwear: "They sent me a coupon! For $10 bucks! How could I not go?"

I am also too lazy to hide my burritos of shame. I now get the burrito bowls (I miss you like crazy, tortillas), and once I'm finished, I just throw the plastic container into the sink (food coma, obvs). Then J arrives home from work, and he discovers the contraband.

"Babe!" He says, shaking his head at me as he walks from the kitchen. "What's this?"

I am in quite the funk today, and though we are off to NYC tomorrow afternoon, I emailed him quickly:

I think I need Panera tonight. I also want to find a cheap summer dress for Saturday. Thoughts?

With lightning quickness:

Yes. No.

Girls? Halp.


Anonymous said...

HAHA, oh man, this really made me laugh!! 2 things inparticular that were extra awesome, though - the fact that 'burritos' is in your frigin top 3 and J's email response. I get similar responses more often than i'd like, too. Perhaps they learned that in the frat house?


Homevalley said...

I was hoping you would relate; seriously, you would think he could let the burritos slide, but nooo. He is angry with the burritos! They must have learned how to be really frugal at the frat house, but how do you deal with this?

Anonymous said...

P, you gotta back a brother up here. You know you want to. You are my only hope OB Wan.


Homevalley said...

J: Your blog wasn't funny.

HV: Ha! It was funny, and all true.

J: Yes, it was true. You WASTE money.