Anyone care to take the over/under on number of times coworkers jokingly asked me to leave today's meeting? Anyone?
Number of times I blushed and smiled and chortled and rolled with it, all the time gritting my teeth and sarcastically thinking, "Oh, that's rich!"
8939 (I obsessed just a bit after the fact.)
Number of times I imagined that in a few short years, I will somehow catapult myself via ingenius innovation into corporate stardom and acquire gobs of money, and began this Vanity Fair article in my head: Well, years ago a more senior business associate kicked me out of a meeting. I didn't take it lying down. I used the humilation to fuel my ambition, and look at me now! I own him, And you, contributing reporter. Fetch me my martini!
Gah! Only twice.
Number of times I cruelly mocked J for douche-y blue tooth device? Number of times I pleaded with him not to walk around all damn day with that flashing light contraption hanging from his ear, anticipating his next very important mobile call?
Number of blue tooths purchased by HomeValley last week?
Number of times I sashayed about Connecticut today, douche-y blue tooth dangling from my delicate earlobe?
Two. (It's just so damn convenient!)
I swear, I look in the mirror, and I don't recognize myself anymore.