Thursday, January 24, 2008

Confessional

So I never watch Dancing with the Stars, but you'd really have to avoid television, magazines, radio, and the WWW for months on end to tune out the ubiquitous media coverage of the damn show.

The incessant buzz often surrounds the miraculous weight loss of the contestants. Obviously, if you do nothing else but physical activity for 40 plus hours per week, you will drop some LBs, eh? And, I don't know, have loads of fun in the process?

It is in this spirit that I find myself finally at home, downloading the Hairspray soundtrack, and dancing Footloose-style about the house. For, um, an hour only a few minutes. And folks? Fantastic.

***********************************************

Last night, after several drinks, a group of my Southern coworkers and I found ourselves discussing the general (and completely stereotypical) differences between Southern belles and Yankee women.

Ladies, here is one man's take on said differences:

"Well first of all, Southern girls wear much less make-up," my friend drawls.

"Not so! Not even a bit," I retort.

"Second, Southern girls are simpler. They wear jeans and tee-shirts and flip-flops to the club."

Shudder.

"What about the men in the South?" I ask. "What're they like?" I take another sip of wine.

"Nice dressers," he smiles. "Preppy. And laid back."

I nod my assent. "Y'all are laid back," I remark. I pick up my wine glass. "Y'know, I don't think I could have ever dated a Southern man," I say after a few moments.

"Why not?" he asks, as a few more polite Southern gentlemen join the conversation.

You know what not to say in this situation, specifically when conversing with a company vice president?

"I don't know." Beat. "I guess I'm just too intellectual."

Let's just say, it's a good thing our Southern brothers are so good-humored.

6 comments:

Grace said...

DWTS contestants are deserving of our utmost respect for the grueling hours of practice that result in infallible routines (sans Marie Osmond).

If all reality TV shows followed this mantra - hard work and dedication equals a standing ovation - perhaps the world would be a better place.

Anonymous said...

i got angry just reading how some southern guy claimed "nice dressers." you honestly can't get worse.

and as for southern chicks and makeup...let's just say what you wake up to is NOT what you go to bed with. and this is completely sober too. it's like they all should be doing make up in hollywood with some of the jobs they performed. totally unfair to unsuspecting northern fellas. -PS

Anonymous said...

The previous "A" post came out of the gate dead ringer for the fairer of the male sex, then he must have realized it by masculinely stating he has horrible taste in women, both sober and God only knows drunk. The funny thing is the give away is the use of the word "honestly" and how he fits it into the sentence. Oh, and his matter of fact style critique is a decent tell also...

Needless to say, the southerners have definitely outdistanced us Yanks in the ways of the English language. The word "y'all" is a Godsend and should be shouted from the rooftops by teachers from Kindergarten on thru Graduate School.

Anonymous said...

Who is this brave anonymous poster who is awesome enough to rip on people leaving quick comments on blog message boards, and how do you know me so well??

Anonymous said...

The Hollywood reference and the "-PS" at the end of your post gave you away. You are Phil Spector, eveyone knows your story.

Homevalley said...

Spector! I "honestly" can't stop laughing.

We should all play nice here at QITNM. Lord knows what happens when you piss Phil off, people.

PS - I agree with you on the Southern fashion... I too think my frind may have been a bit deluded on that and the make-up issue.