J, Ultimate Boyfriend/Secret Keeper

Many months ago, J and I were strolling around SoHo, our typical New York Saturday. We crossed Houston and meandered into Crate and Barrel, where I began mentally decorating my future dining room (J’s current). Suddenly, a brainstorm:

“Let’s not bother with Christmas presents this year,” I say. “We don’t need anything, and we can focus on stuff for the house.”

“That’s a great idea,” J agrees.

“Well, I mean, we should get each other one small, thoughtful thing,” I backpedal.

“Of course,” J says.

Naturally, O Magazine helps me create the perfect gift for J. I learn of a service that will allow me to convert photos to oil paintings. J is a wonderful photographer, so I pick one of my favorite shots from Greece and then wait until the very last second to send the pic to the company, because I procrastinate.

But when I do receive the painting a few days before the holiday, it’s spectacular. He will love it.

This gentleman from Santorini is hanging in our kitchen now.

J and I decide to celebrate our Christmas the Saturday before Dec. 25^th. We each have one small wrapped gift placed under the tree – ahem, poinsettia.

J asks to open his gift first. As I suspected, he loves it. Success!

I open my gift. A Reebok sneakers box!

Wait - a handmade book inside. The Grinch adorns its cover.

It reads: Merry Christmas, Melissa.

I begin reading. J is absolutely silent.

…a few sheets of paper were all I could afford…

…you’ll need a break after a long winter cooped up with your boyfriend…

Map of the United States?

JFK?

Thailand?!?

Really?!?!?!

I scream as I frantically turn the pages. There is a 17 hour flight to Bangkok! There is a three-night stay in Chiang Mai! There is a four-night stay in Krabi! There are snorkeling trips to Phi Phi! There is a two-night stay in Siem Reap, Cambodia, to visit the temples at Angkor Wat!

I can barely wrap my head around it; I am so astounded.

He’d been planning it since that afternoon in Crate and Barrel. He set me up. And he kept it top secret for months and months.

He should work for the CIA; he’s so secretive and smooth.

The trip is coming up quick; we leave for Bangkok on February 22nd. We're in the process of getting the appropriate shots (hepatitis A) and antimalarial meds, as you do. J thinks I am crazy for insisting on a mosquito net for Cambodia; he assures me we are not sleeping in wilderness. I have to explain to him that mosquitos love to feast on me, and he'll be sorry when I contract malaria!

So yeah, ever so slightly crazy.

And going to Thailand and Cambodia!!!

(High-pitched squealing ensues.)