So J calls me "Toots" when he is exasperated with my antics. You know, when I've done a bad thing. Like, I don't know, $500 speeding ticket?
There is a lot of "Toots" going around these days at the HomeValley Ranch.
In this hell of my own making, I am investigating "Points Reduction" classes in Manhattan. And... e-mail:
From: J
To: Toots
Summarize the deal here. Will the points and the added $300 fine go away if you go to a one day class?
From: Toots
To: J
No... "up to" 4 points would go away, and you get a certificate that allows for 10% off your car insurance. It may help me/us if I switch insurance, so I am willing to go.
I have to pay the $300 no matter what... and the class costs $70 and 6 hours of my life.
From: J
To: Toots
How can you get 6 points for one violation? Were you going 120?
From: Toots
To: J
You would think, wouldn't you??? I was going 86.
From: J
To: Toots
Who drives at 86 miles per hour. You made it sound like I did what you did all the time. I don’t drive at 86 mph there toots. This is a big mess you got yourself into.
From: Toots
To: J
That just cost you any love I was going to give you when you get home. Boo.
From: J
To: Toots
Is that how you spell toots?
From: Toots
To: J
No LOVE.
From: J
To: Toots
Well then how do you spell it?
From: Toots
To: J
I think that is close enough.
NO LOVE!!!
From: Toots
To: Big Guy
Well, [my co-worker who's identity must be protected], thought all rental cars just automatically had EZ Pass... And she got a million dollars in tickets. That is a mess. This was one silly violation! Which you will have to get over, "big guy" (that is the new "toots")... Because this may affect our insurance and I can't marry you if you are going to make me feel guilty for the rest of our lives.
Fondly, your-once-excited-to-see-you-wife-who-is-now-on-the-defensive-because-you-gave- her-an-undue-lecture-when-she-was-only-trying-to-do-things-to-ameliorate-the-situation-but-you-couldn't-just-bite-your-tongue-and-now-you-will-pay-later,
Toots
Edited to add:
J just arrived home and commenced hugging me. Then, he gave me a kiss and said, "Babe, I couldn't get home fast enough to see you. I drove, like, 86 miles per hour to get here."
It's going to be a long life.
6 comments:
Close your eyes and think of a time of our innocence. A time when we were just 16 years old driving home from the Wildwood all by our big-girl selves. The rush. The independence. The 86 in a 55 speeding ticket that lost Grace her license (via Father, not the State) to drive for over 3 months - except, of course, to drive him to the beer distributor.
We all make mistakes, HV. That's the story of, that's the glory of - LIFE.
I was going 86 MPH on Saturday when I got my speeding ticket! BFFs!!!!! - Allie
I was going 86 MPH on Saturday when I got my speeding ticket! BFFs!!!!! - Allie
My heart is bursting with love for you both... Who drives 86 miles per hour? We do.
Just a question...or maybe a comment...but should you be spelling that "tutz". A German umlaut would help, but unless you are very gassy, I am hoping toots is an attempt to spell tutz.
If I am off base, the Big Guy must have his reasons for the nickname.
I just looked this up in the "urban dictionary" and it appears that both spellings are correct, although yours maybe more so:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tutz
It is pronounced "tuhtz" but now looks like it is pronounced "tooooots". Which made me chuckle. Good lookin' out!
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