54 Truths (Disclaimer: This idea is not original.)

1. HomeValley is my last name.
2. In English.
3. Translated from Swedish.
4. Yes, I am part Viking.
5. And half-Italian.
6. My Swedish father moved to the States in 1964.
7. He was ten.
8. He learned to speak English by watching Saturday morning cartoons.
9. Remember cartoons, before the Cartoon Network?
10. Good times.
11. Dad no longer speaks Swedish.
12. That's a shame.
13. Especially since, as a result, all I can say is "Wilkomen!"
14. But I do call my grandparents "Far-Far" and "Far-Mor."
15. But I started doing that last year.
16. My first name is actually Melissa.
17. I've always liked that name, despite its rampant popularity during the 1980s.
18. I was born on February 1, 1980.
19. I weighed nearly ten pounds.
20. I barely fit in the incubator.
21. People pointed at me and remarked"That little boy baby looks like a linebacker!"
22. My late grandma Bea overheard and snapped, "That is my grand-daughter, thank you."
23. She was hilarious and died when I was eight.
24. She had an aneurysm in front of a slot machine.
25. I like to think that's how she wanted to go.
26. Soon after my birth, My uncle Rick coined the nickname "Melissa Monster."
27. When you meet him, he'll tell you this.
28. He'll also tell you that I was an incredible baby.
29. This is because at nine months old, I sat in a playpen next to him and watched an entire World Series game without making a peep.
30. I have one "full" brother, one half-brother, one step-brother, and two half-sisters.
31. A lot of them call me "Sis."
32. It's awesome.
33. My "full" brother is just 14 months younger than me.
34. Growing up, people thought we were twins.
35. We started a band together in '88.
36. We loved heavy metal.
37. The only song we played was Joan Jett's "I love rock and roll."
38. And by played I mean I sang, and he banged on the washer with chopsticks.
39. Incredibly, we never had a paying gig.
40. The band did launch my short-lived singing career.
41. I sang at church, then in chorus, then in school musicals.
42. I once sang with Kenny Rogers.
43. The Gambler.
44. Well, me and twenty other girls from our high school chorus.
45. Still.
46. I have one tattoo.
47. I got it because Allie was getting one, and it seemed like a good idea.
48. It's a butterfly.
49. I have just learned, via an episode of Parental Control, that it's often called a "Tramp Stamp."
50. Parental Control is a brilliant show.
51. My high school yearbook quote was "Tis a far better thing doing stuff for other people."
52. Someone saw Clueless one too many times.
53. This is my brain off alcohol.
54. Oh man.