This is all a little disconcerting for the human race...

A few things:

• I am scared of mice. My pretty little cubicle, set in posh Chelsea, is infested with the vermin. One morning, unsuspecting, I bounce into the office and happen upon my despondent cube-mate. She can't look at me. We need to talk, she whispers. She recounts a sordid tale, one in which she entered our space in the early AM, horrified to see our home filled with giants rats dancing gleefully about the room, excreting on our desks and laughing haughtily, rummaging through our garbage and feasting on our leftovers. At least, that's what I heard. Perhaps there was just one tiny mouse that scurried away when she came in. No matter - since that heartwrenching morning, I have struggled to ensure that no morsel of food is left for Stuart Little, on my desk, or in the trash can. It's too risky; a face-to-face encounter with the monster will send me into cardiac arrest. Today, however, I find that Cube-Mate has been storing a plastic tub of granola (granola!!) in the corner! This is sure to attract the beasts, and then kill me.

• Phone call from Allie this morning: "I forgot to tell you about your mom at the shower this past weekend!" she says (Note: I skipped the bridal shower for friend Dee, yet Mom attended. She will not let me forget this.). "We were discussing a particular mother's antics, how she was getting crazy and yelling at the bridesmaids, when your mother blurts, 'Yeah! It's like, Al, you know I'm crazy, right? But I'm not crazy in front of other people!'" Mom.

• The joke is on us, y'all: http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/2006/07/kevin-federline-was-joking.html.

• From the mouth of Vanessa: So I made "B" [boyfriend of Vanessa] watch a part of Full House last night- and it was the one where Joey was supposed to do a stand-up comedy show- but Phyllis Diller was there- and performed for over an hour and a half- and then everyone left before Joey got into his routine. Well Gallagher, the host, before introducing Joey did a bit about toys that were provided in cereal boxes- and pulled out a huge Frankenstein mask- I lost it! I laughed so hard bc it was so awful- and couldn’t stop. I think it really scared B. He said it was the worst thing he’d ever seen in his life and that it almost made his eyes and ears bleed- and he could not figure out why I was dying laughing. Anyhoo- what’s w/ dudes? Does J appreciate Tanner family fun? Or is he a hater?