I call this post: Time Crunch

Oh, did I mention that today, at about noon, J and I embark on our greatest adventure YET?

Friends, we are off to Egypt and Jordan!

And I have managed to fit all of my demure clothing into a miniscule suitcase, and still, my husband says: "You're not gonna extend that bag are you?" Nevermind that we are checking. J is obsessed with the weight of the bags we must carry, like, from the plane to the car, and then from the car to the hotel. I suppose once a hostel-staying back-packer, always a hostel-staying back-packer, eh?

So we are all set for this trip, but how can I leave for this trip without presenting notes and musings and quotes from my last trip. I have "holy shit I am going to be seeing the Pyramids on Thursday" brain, so, here are the EXACT scribblings from my journal. Enjoy.

DAY 1

February 18, 2009

Evening ( overnight) flight to London.

Just asked Grace to keep something on the low-down, to which she replied "down-low", to which I replied, "no doubt." Then we laughed for about 10 minutes straight.

We're almost underway! Just ten and a half years since our last transatlantic flight, we embark on journey #2! Completely excited and just a tiny bit drunker than last we boarded.

"And I'll keep the change." - HV

"Ya filthy animal!" - Grace

"It's called 'Chunnel' for 'channel' and 'tunnel'. It's kinda like brunch." - Grace, authoritatively

"Yeah, I get the word combo." - Rousseau*, dryly

Covent Garden - Nagshead: beers and good conversation (Note: We talked about that chimp that ripped that lady's face off for an hour. Now that's deep.)

Buckingham Palace - Municipal Building; underwhelmed (For real, y'all. B-league.)

HV and Renaldo* own this city! WHAT UP?

"I am having the best time!!!" - HV, apropos of nothing

"I have never felt so awake!" - HV, exhausted and deliriously drunk

"Quit dippin' your fat in my shit!" - Grace

"That's what she said." - HV (Boo yeah!)

PIG FAT.

Heart Attack. Baker's dozen for me! Fatty FAT FAT. (Note: Remember, these are my actual notes.)

"And I ate a goddamn pigeon." -Rousseau, upon finishing her pigeon

Dear Diary,

Renaldo spilled his wine on me. Very upset.

(And mercifully, we end Day 1 here, though there was much drunk haiku-ing later that evening.)

Day 2

Today: Tower of London, Westminster Abbey, Portobello Road, Notting Hill Pub Crawl

"Oh, I want that postcard!" - Grace, pointing

"The one with that lady?" - Rousseau, inquisitively

"Yeah, Rous. That's the Queen." - Grace, sarcastically

"Did anyone kinda giggle every time they said 'crown jewels?' - Grace, naturally

"We shall call you 'Will'." - HV

"How about 'Renaldo'?" - Renaldo, on his new blog-pseudonym

"You know they saw our Westminster Abbey bags and were all about that!" - HV, on how attractive American tourists who shop at gift shops actually are

"I like to call it 'Victorian bling'!" - David, the kindest tour docent at St. Paul's cathedral

"Maybe if you bitches would have gone out to get the coffee!" - Renaldo, tiring of listening to four women yap

Day 3 - The Penultimate

Bacon! HP sauce = delicious

Post cards from Prince William

Coffee at The Bean, onwards to St. Paul's Cathedral ("feed the birds")

Gorgeous - dichotomy - plain and "Victorian bling"

Crypt - Duke of Wellington and Flo Nightingale

Away to Shakespeare's Globe - Romeo and Juliet

Onward to Borough Market - venison burgers, fish and chips, and Turkish delight

Away to London Eye - regroup

Grace and I off to Red Lion pub by Westminster to compose correspondence from Queen Elizabeth and Prince William to friends back home

Evensong at Westminster Abbey - incredibly emotional service

Off to Harrod's from WA Station

Play in food hall - purchase our weight in chocolates and teas

TOYS!

Champagne bar! Brilliant

And London Eye at night.

Lovely dinner (despite rude hostess) at Light Bar

Back to N's flat - time to party

Wear sequin shirt with magical party powers since am able to stay wide awake through 2, at which time we all head to Sosho

Dance until 4 AM - London brilliant and busy and electric!

"How can I perfect my English accent?" - HV, after yelling one to many "Cheers, mates!"

"Well, for starters, try being born in ENGLAND." - Lovely new friend Brad

In bed by 5 AM

Heathrow by 10:30.

Blue. Blue. Blue.

And well, that about sums up a frenetic, unforgettable trip.

Cheers mates!

* Names have been changed to protect the innocent.