Hank and I took my mom to the airport. Her two-week stay ended today. Strange, but those two weeks went lightning-quick.
I get blue when our guests leave. The word blue is appropriate. I'm only the tiniest bit relieved that I no longer have to worry about feeding extended family. I am mostly sad that we live so far apart. That they get an intimate glimpse into our lives for so many days, and then that intimacy ends abruptly. I wonder how Hendrik feels. Is he bored to be alone with me again? Does he realize when they go away? I feel guilty that they will miss him. Even if he wasn't so goddamned charming: they will miss him, and his happy screaming, and his chubby little toes.
I decided to console myself with a cinnamon dolce latte at Starbucks, as you do. As I waited in the drive-thru line, I scanned my Facebook feed. There was only one thing everyone was talking about.
Casey Anthony. Not Guilty.
I hadn't closely followed the trial, but this verdict was unsurprising. No hard evidence. If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit, etc. I'm not happy about it; but then, I don't know if she did it. All the prosecution proved is that she's an asshole. We already knew that.
Still, how heart-breaking. No matter the verdict, nothing will bring back that gorgeous little girl and the full life she was denied.
Reading status updates, I felt plain melancholy. I pulled up to the window and hastily ordered a morning bun. Only a morning bun could make it right.
"OK," said the man in the Starbuck's cap. "The person in the car in front of you decided to pay it forward, so you just owe me for the morning bun."
"Pay it forward?" I asked incredulously.
"Yeah, sometimes that happens here."
"Just like that?" I smiled. (Texas, you really confound me sometimes with your equal number churches and strip joints; your guns and your "Obama is a Socialist!" billboards. Huh.)
"Just like that," the man replied.
"Well, what did that car behind me order?" I asked. "I guess I'll buy that."
"Great! I like to see how far it goes. Sometimes people just say, 'awesome, thanks,' and keep on driving."
I thought: I'd like to see how far it goes too.
As I drove home, I thought of Caylee Anthony. I thought of the fury of my Facebook friends. I thought of the cries of injustice; the loss of faith in our justice system; the idea that the jurors should hire bodyguards.
I thought: what if that woman or man in the car in front of me had also just heard the verdict? And what if he or she thought: I am going to do something nice for Caylee, anonymously. In Caylee's name. So that something good can come out of evil. So that we won't forget her, or her suffering.
I know it was just a latte, guys. But it made me feel... hopeful.
We arrived home and I hugged my baby tightly, thankful for all that I have, and resigned to pick up the tab for a stranger a little more often.
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
BAB Project: Week 7 - Fluctuation Nation.
Evening, chickens!
Where in the world has I been? H and I have been all over the place: the Jersey shore, Georgetown, and Clarksburg, MD. We're just such social butterflies these days - today we took a trip to dad's office for lunch, in which H wooed all the ladies - I haven't had a moment to write.
Don't worry though: I still find time to eat. (Modo Mio, I'm lookin' at you.)
So weight-wise, I stepped on the scale yesterday morning, and I weighed 153.8. Cheers! After a hearty dinner of whole wheat pasta and a tofu-zucchini-onion tomato sauce, I weighed 158.4. You might remember that weight from such numbers as THE BEGINNING OF THIS MOTHER EFFIN' PROJECT HOLY CHRIST.
The scale is lower today, but... dudes, I gots no idea.
Here's what's new this week:
- J and I are vegetarians this month, except for fish. I'll let you know how that goes.
- I registered for the Philly Half-Marathon. This means I better start training right quick.
- I am deep in the world of Fidelity investments and Roth IRAs and rollovers and conversions. It has nothing to do with weight loss, but it blows just the same.
- It's hot as hell in Philadelphia. I am THIS CLOSE to updating my Facebook status to reflect this fact. You know it must be serious.
- Still on the fence with Twitter. It hurts my heart.
More tomorrow, loves.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
New Developments
I had a dream the other night that I met that loud Italian dude from TLC's Cake Boss (I've only ever seen promos for the show), and I couldn't wait to update my Facebook status. In my dream.
When I woke, I promptly decided to abandon social networking.
Because: come ON.
I'm steering clear of Facebook and Twitter for at least seven full days. Facebook and I will likely work it out. Twitter and I are quite possibly breaking up for good. Twitter assaults my senses. It may give me a stroke if I don't learn how to use it properly.
Today is Day 3, and I feel better. Clearer. This morning I baked muffins, for JC's sake.
Plus, I've got a lot to mull over this week.
I was laid off last week. That is, my position was eliminated.
As a family, we're grappling with a lot right now. But in lieu of focusing on the negatives (LACK OF INCOME HOLY SHIT), I am looking forward.
I'm an accidental stay-at-home mom.
And right at this moment, I'm looking at my sleeping boy in my arms, and I'm thinking: this happened for a reason.
Perhaps he needs me more.
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Resolutionary
So I am in Dallas, living the dream. I'm at a conference here, and I have to tell you, I am completely committed to my work in 2010. It's strange; Ninja will be here in less than 5 months, and my only instinct is to be better at EVERYTHING. To be a fantastic, calm mom, of course; but also to rock standardized tests. To get into a good Master's program. To be amazing at my job; so damn phenomenal that I kill it around bonus time. I figure, that way my company has every reason to accommodate me when I am just too madly in love with mah baby to board a plane come late August.
I confess: I sneak up to my room during breaks to take a peak at baby photos. I only brought two of the 7839 ulrasound pictures our tech was kind enough to provide us, but these shots are exquisite. Have you seen my baby's ears? His/her shoulder? It's all so real now. Ninj is no longer just a tiny little bean with a microscopic beating heart. Miraculously (and holy shit, this is the most spectacular miracle), Ninja has functioning kidneys. And a big old heart with four whole chambers. Eyes. Lungs. A perfect spine. I wanted to kiss the doctor when she came in to thoroughly examine the ultrasound screen.
"Looks great, guys!" She said, and was on her way.
"We're so lucky," I said to J as we hustled back to the parking garage. "How did we get so lucky?"
The second ultrasound pic I have tucked in my planner is a regular 2D (3D?) profile shot of the entire baby. I promise I'll scan it tomorrow night when I get home, because y'all have to see this. Ninj has the most precious chin; a tiny mouth that is upturned in the slightest smile; and a miniature button nose. It's surreal, but the baby looks like J, which makes me imagine I have a little boy dancing around my placenta. But either sex is fine by me. A cliche, yes, but all I want is a healthy child.
So, so lucky.
Now, I will stop staring at Ninj for three minutes to recap my resolutions for 2010. I have never felt more equipped to handle all that is on this list, which I almost hate to admit. I worry that if I gush to much about how wonderful life is, some horrible malady will inevitably befall me. So:
1. LESS WORRYING. In my book, 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself, the author contends that once you become an adult, the only time you engage your imagination is to concoct worst-case scenarios. Ha! That's, like, the most true statement ever in the history of the world. I suspect this only gets worse as you become a parent. So I have decided to tell my worst-case scenario imagination to fuck off this year. Every time a bad thought creeps in (Oh man, my ankle hurts. I am obviously dying of cancer.) I am going to think something positive and life-affirming instead. That's right: fuck off, imagination. I shall now only use you for good.
2. MORE EXERCISING. Oh, original. But also: I been lazy. Time to be a truly hot mama. Rawr.
3. LESS PHONE SCREENING. I keep trying, guys. We shall overcome.
4. MORE GREEN-ING OF ENVIRONMENT. I am starting small: organic cottons for Ninj. A reusable coffee mug for Dunkin' Donuts. A reusable water bottle for the gym. More water and energy conservation. Plants. Also, maybe vacuum and dust a tad more.
5. MORE SEX. Apologize if you are blushing, gentle readers, but the H and I are still young, and we're having a baby. I am preemptively putting this high on the priority list for 2010. (J: You're welcome.)
6. LESS ROAD RAGE.
7. NO TEXTING WHILE DRIVING.
8. MORE STANDARDIZED TESTS. Setting a date for the GREs ASAP.
9. MORE WRITING. Ugh, I hate listing that one. But year after year, I need to make writing a higher priority. I mean, I love you guys. And I probably should write a novel one of these days.
10. MORE HEALTHY COOKING. Mmm, organics.
11. LESS PROCESSED FOODS. I won't go on a diatribe here. In summary: processed foods are evil and so delicious. Cutting back.
12. MORE QUALITY READING. I thoroughly enjoyed Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy, but I don't think it made me any smarter.
13. LESS TELEVISION. Shut up, talking picture box.
14. MORE AWESOME. Just that. Bringing the awesome.
15. MORE GRATITUDE. To everyone. For everything. It is ultimately a lovely world.
16. MORE WATER. I totally don't drink enough of it. J thinks Ninja's home will dry up or something.
17. LESS TECHNOLOGY. Says the girl with the new Kindle and iPod Touch. But still.
18. MORE COMMENTING. I read so many amazing blogs, and then get shy when it comes to joining the discussion. That ends now.
19. MORE CALLS. To friends and family. Maybe even some enemies. I just need to stop communicating solely on Facebook. Real interaction is neat.
20. MORE (okay, first) BlogHer convention.
And there you have it, kids: a nice, round number of things that will make a better HomeValley. Pray tell, what will you do differently in 2010?
I confess: I sneak up to my room during breaks to take a peak at baby photos. I only brought two of the 7839 ulrasound pictures our tech was kind enough to provide us, but these shots are exquisite. Have you seen my baby's ears? His/her shoulder? It's all so real now. Ninj is no longer just a tiny little bean with a microscopic beating heart. Miraculously (and holy shit, this is the most spectacular miracle), Ninja has functioning kidneys. And a big old heart with four whole chambers. Eyes. Lungs. A perfect spine. I wanted to kiss the doctor when she came in to thoroughly examine the ultrasound screen.
"Looks great, guys!" She said, and was on her way.
"We're so lucky," I said to J as we hustled back to the parking garage. "How did we get so lucky?"
The second ultrasound pic I have tucked in my planner is a regular 2D (3D?) profile shot of the entire baby. I promise I'll scan it tomorrow night when I get home, because y'all have to see this. Ninj has the most precious chin; a tiny mouth that is upturned in the slightest smile; and a miniature button nose. It's surreal, but the baby looks like J, which makes me imagine I have a little boy dancing around my placenta. But either sex is fine by me. A cliche, yes, but all I want is a healthy child.
So, so lucky.
Now, I will stop staring at Ninj for three minutes to recap my resolutions for 2010. I have never felt more equipped to handle all that is on this list, which I almost hate to admit. I worry that if I gush to much about how wonderful life is, some horrible malady will inevitably befall me. So:
1. LESS WORRYING. In my book, 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself, the author contends that once you become an adult, the only time you engage your imagination is to concoct worst-case scenarios. Ha! That's, like, the most true statement ever in the history of the world. I suspect this only gets worse as you become a parent. So I have decided to tell my worst-case scenario imagination to fuck off this year. Every time a bad thought creeps in (Oh man, my ankle hurts. I am obviously dying of cancer.) I am going to think something positive and life-affirming instead. That's right: fuck off, imagination. I shall now only use you for good.
2. MORE EXERCISING. Oh, original. But also: I been lazy. Time to be a truly hot mama. Rawr.
3. LESS PHONE SCREENING. I keep trying, guys. We shall overcome.
4. MORE GREEN-ING OF ENVIRONMENT. I am starting small: organic cottons for Ninj. A reusable coffee mug for Dunkin' Donuts. A reusable water bottle for the gym. More water and energy conservation. Plants. Also, maybe vacuum and dust a tad more.
5. MORE SEX. Apologize if you are blushing, gentle readers, but the H and I are still young, and we're having a baby. I am preemptively putting this high on the priority list for 2010. (J: You're welcome.)
6. LESS ROAD RAGE.
7. NO TEXTING WHILE DRIVING.
8. MORE STANDARDIZED TESTS. Setting a date for the GREs ASAP.
9. MORE WRITING. Ugh, I hate listing that one. But year after year, I need to make writing a higher priority. I mean, I love you guys. And I probably should write a novel one of these days.
10. MORE HEALTHY COOKING. Mmm, organics.
11. LESS PROCESSED FOODS. I won't go on a diatribe here. In summary: processed foods are evil and so delicious. Cutting back.
12. MORE QUALITY READING. I thoroughly enjoyed Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy, but I don't think it made me any smarter.
13. LESS TELEVISION. Shut up, talking picture box.
14. MORE AWESOME. Just that. Bringing the awesome.
15. MORE GRATITUDE. To everyone. For everything. It is ultimately a lovely world.
16. MORE WATER. I totally don't drink enough of it. J thinks Ninja's home will dry up or something.
17. LESS TECHNOLOGY. Says the girl with the new Kindle and iPod Touch. But still.
18. MORE COMMENTING. I read so many amazing blogs, and then get shy when it comes to joining the discussion. That ends now.
19. MORE CALLS. To friends and family. Maybe even some enemies. I just need to stop communicating solely on Facebook. Real interaction is neat.
20. MORE (okay, first) BlogHer convention.
And there you have it, kids: a nice, round number of things that will make a better HomeValley. Pray tell, what will you do differently in 2010?
Monday, November 23, 2009
When I set the bar low, I actually accomplish things!
I may be my own worst enemy.
It pretty much follows that each time I make a bold proclamation, within 24 hours I am watching old Jon and Kate episodes on TLC.
I usually aim too high; my brain is always telling me it must be all or nothing, all or nothing. Don't take the GMATs, the brain commands, until you can make sure you score a 750.
You've already watched an hour and 2 minutes of television today, it says insidiously, so what's two more hours?
My book? The one about procrastination? Well, it actually confirms something I have long suspected: some procrastinators are actually perfectionists; we must wait until we can execute something properly, or else that something is not worth doing. Yet. We'll just curl up on the couch with a good book, thankyouverymuch, and wait until our brains are perfectly clear and focused and we feel physically, emotionally, and mentally prepared to accomplish that task. Good day.
Take this post, for instance. I almost waited until I could write something coherent, but then I forced myself to sit down and type. (You're welcome, Internet.)
And those mothereffing GMATs, always looming over me.
Then last week I realized: I am never going to wake up one day and understand geometry. That day is never coming.
The best I can do is study. Study like I have never studied before. And also? TAKE THE GODDAMN GMATS ALREADY, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE.
Finally - finally!- I have scheduled the test. I will be taking the GMATs on December 17th. I have a lot to cram into my brain before then; but then, after the 17th, I can finally relax. I can watch Oprah without feeling guilty. I can read books again without that nagging sensation that I should be studying. And that alone is worth turning off the television - and the Facebook - until then.
And of course, you know, I will have actually accomplished something. Not quite as monumental as showering daily, but it's a start.
It pretty much follows that each time I make a bold proclamation, within 24 hours I am watching old Jon and Kate episodes on TLC.
I usually aim too high; my brain is always telling me it must be all or nothing, all or nothing. Don't take the GMATs, the brain commands, until you can make sure you score a 750.
You've already watched an hour and 2 minutes of television today, it says insidiously, so what's two more hours?
My book? The one about procrastination? Well, it actually confirms something I have long suspected: some procrastinators are actually perfectionists; we must wait until we can execute something properly, or else that something is not worth doing. Yet. We'll just curl up on the couch with a good book, thankyouverymuch, and wait until our brains are perfectly clear and focused and we feel physically, emotionally, and mentally prepared to accomplish that task. Good day.
Take this post, for instance. I almost waited until I could write something coherent, but then I forced myself to sit down and type. (You're welcome, Internet.)
And those mothereffing GMATs, always looming over me.
Then last week I realized: I am never going to wake up one day and understand geometry. That day is never coming.
The best I can do is study. Study like I have never studied before. And also? TAKE THE GODDAMN GMATS ALREADY, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE.
Finally - finally!- I have scheduled the test. I will be taking the GMATs on December 17th. I have a lot to cram into my brain before then; but then, after the 17th, I can finally relax. I can watch Oprah without feeling guilty. I can read books again without that nagging sensation that I should be studying. And that alone is worth turning off the television - and the Facebook - until then.
And of course, you know, I will have actually accomplished something. Not quite as monumental as showering daily, but it's a start.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
OMG! This Effing Rain!
It's raining in Philadelphia. Have you heard? I only know because I am on Facebook. And via Facebook, everyone whom I have ever met in my life is complaining about the weather. Me? I tend to like the rain. And a good thunderstorm? Forget about it. I'm cooped up in my office anyway, right? Just me, Pandora, my laptop, and my phones. The rain works to soothe me; I relax into work and feel contented. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhhh.
But wait - other people? Fucking hate this rain. They do not like the RAIN. Fuck this rain. They miss the sun. Where is the sun? Why is it always raining?!?! In summary: rain = HATE.
All of this belly-aching about rain (fuck this rain) got me to thinking about Facebook belly-aching in general, and the amazing piece I never published from guest blogger and resident funny woman, Koos. Ladies and gents, I bring you, courtesy of da Koos, things your Facebook friends are longing to tell you, but don't, because come on, you've got to be polite on Facebook. (But you can be a huge asshole at QINTM and nobody says "boo".) (Seriously though, comments are always open, y'all.) (Edited by yours truly.)
1. Stop complaining. Have you really bothered tracking people down all the way back to Pre-K to tell them about your headaches, runny noses, fatigue, and other boring ailments that everyone experiences at one time or another?
2. We know your kids and/or pets are cute and that you love them. Even mention them in your status updates every now and again. Just not EVERY update.
3. If you do not like your job, your boss, your coworkers or your commute, get off of Facebook immediately and update your resume, for the love of Pete.
4. As exciting as your errand list is, we don't need a play-by-play of what you did all day when it involves the grocery store, doctors' visits, dry cleaners, and trips to the gym. Call your real friends and bore them with all that stuff.
5. Mondays are unavoidable. As well as Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. Try to enjoy the fact that you woke up and have air in your lungs; that you have one more day to spend with the kids and pets you can't leave out of your status updates. I mean, if you live until you are 80, you will have experienced 4171 Mondays. And look at you out there wasting them being miserable! Suckers. Koos and I are kicking back, drinking mojitos, and loving life on that first day of the work week. We'll let you hang with us if you stop your whining.
Tip of the iceberg, huh? What else drives you crazy about the Facebooking?
But wait - other people? Fucking hate this rain. They do not like the RAIN. Fuck this rain. They miss the sun. Where is the sun? Why is it always raining?!?! In summary: rain = HATE.
All of this belly-aching about rain (fuck this rain) got me to thinking about Facebook belly-aching in general, and the amazing piece I never published from guest blogger and resident funny woman, Koos. Ladies and gents, I bring you, courtesy of da Koos, things your Facebook friends are longing to tell you, but don't, because come on, you've got to be polite on Facebook. (But you can be a huge asshole at QINTM and nobody says "boo".) (Seriously though, comments are always open, y'all.) (Edited by yours truly.)
1. Stop complaining. Have you really bothered tracking people down all the way back to Pre-K to tell them about your headaches, runny noses, fatigue, and other boring ailments that everyone experiences at one time or another?
2. We know your kids and/or pets are cute and that you love them. Even mention them in your status updates every now and again. Just not EVERY update.
3. If you do not like your job, your boss, your coworkers or your commute, get off of Facebook immediately and update your resume, for the love of Pete.
4. As exciting as your errand list is, we don't need a play-by-play of what you did all day when it involves the grocery store, doctors' visits, dry cleaners, and trips to the gym. Call your real friends and bore them with all that stuff.
5. Mondays are unavoidable. As well as Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. Try to enjoy the fact that you woke up and have air in your lungs; that you have one more day to spend with the kids and pets you can't leave out of your status updates. I mean, if you live until you are 80, you will have experienced 4171 Mondays. And look at you out there wasting them being miserable! Suckers. Koos and I are kicking back, drinking mojitos, and loving life on that first day of the work week. We'll let you hang with us if you stop your whining.
Tip of the iceberg, huh? What else drives you crazy about the Facebooking?
Friday, November 07, 2008
A Life With Purpose
This morning, as is typical when I work from my home office, I stumbled down the stairs incoherently and immediately turned on the television. I scrolled the DVR menu until I found what I was looking for: yesterday's Oprah.
Ah, O. Just what I need to start my day, to live my best life.
Yesterday's guest was one Mr. Will Smith, who is so lovable I just want to squeeze him. He spoke about how he had just turned 40, and that now, he does not want to do anything in his life without purpose.
Right! I said aloud to my television screen. I want to live my life that way too, Mr. Smith! I thought. And then I made a mental list of all the things I wanted to accomplish today, including: mailing our marriage license to the translator (ah, destination weddings), going to the gym, eating perfectly healthy, applying for a new job, writing a blog post, sending my resume to an old colleague who has a TV producer position available for me in New York (it's such a stretch, I just can't not send my CV on a wing and a prayer), etc.
I came upstairs shortly thereafter for a conference call. I booted up my computer and clicked on Internet Explorer.
When suddenly, I realized it.
Facebook.
Facebook is the enemy of all productivity. It is the devil's minion. It must be stopped!
I had been fervently rooting through Facebook pages for 30 minutes, when I froze with this devastating realization.
Holy crap on a cracker - I am addicted to Facebook. I have a problem.
And now I need to make it right. But how? How does one restrict utilization? How do I go about my daily life not knowing what you all are doing at this precise moment? Without seeing your pictures from the weddings and Halloween parties you have recently attended? Without your clever wall posts? How?!?
*Deep breath*
So, I am officially exiting Facebook for the remainder of this Friday. Baby steps. I don't want to overwhelm myself, or my constant craving for information about all of my FB friends.
Melissa P. HomeValley... what are you doing right now?
Over and out.
Ah, O. Just what I need to start my day, to live my best life.
Yesterday's guest was one Mr. Will Smith, who is so lovable I just want to squeeze him. He spoke about how he had just turned 40, and that now, he does not want to do anything in his life without purpose.
Right! I said aloud to my television screen. I want to live my life that way too, Mr. Smith! I thought. And then I made a mental list of all the things I wanted to accomplish today, including: mailing our marriage license to the translator (ah, destination weddings), going to the gym, eating perfectly healthy, applying for a new job, writing a blog post, sending my resume to an old colleague who has a TV producer position available for me in New York (it's such a stretch, I just can't not send my CV on a wing and a prayer), etc.
I came upstairs shortly thereafter for a conference call. I booted up my computer and clicked on Internet Explorer.
When suddenly, I realized it.
Facebook.
Facebook is the enemy of all productivity. It is the devil's minion. It must be stopped!
I had been fervently rooting through Facebook pages for 30 minutes, when I froze with this devastating realization.
Holy crap on a cracker - I am addicted to Facebook. I have a problem.
And now I need to make it right. But how? How does one restrict utilization? How do I go about my daily life not knowing what you all are doing at this precise moment? Without seeing your pictures from the weddings and Halloween parties you have recently attended? Without your clever wall posts? How?!?
*Deep breath*
So, I am officially exiting Facebook for the remainder of this Friday. Baby steps. I don't want to overwhelm myself, or my constant craving for information about all of my FB friends.
Melissa P. HomeValley... what are you doing right now?
Over and out.
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