Things I Need To Complain About.

Oh, you guys. You know how sometimes you just need to get it out there, so you can let it go? Please forgive me this bratty indulgence. But here are some things I need to complain about, so I can be my normal sunny self again.

1. The HEAT. My loves, it is about a million degrees in North Texas. I am not exaggerating. The HEAT is like another clingy, irritating family member, because all of your decisions need to be made according to the HEAT. When can we go for a walk? We have to get out early to beat the heat. Did you want to go out at 5 AM? It is only 90 degrees at 5 AM. That should be great. Can we go to this outdoor event this weekend? No, it is going to be 108 degrees, our baby's face will melt and his curly mullet will disintegrate; further, why does any rational person in Texas plan anything in July or August anyway? Are they insane?!? Can you run into the house to get me a beer as I sit in the 90 degree pool that feels incredibly refreshing? Sure, just let me make sure I put my flip flops under my chair... Damn, I didn't. I will have to wait three hours while they cool, so I can dash into the house without my feet catching fire. Oh, you guys. The HEAT. Last night, J laughingly told me the forecast for this week: 110, 109, 108, 107, 107... I grabbed my phone to see for myself, because surely, he must be joking. He wasn't. Mercy. Also? The other night? Our downstairs AC unit wouldn't turn on (we keep the upstairs unit at 78 all day, on the first floor we only use the AC at night). J was all: Well, you'll have to call the home warranty company tomorrow. I was all: OH MY EFFING GOD J THERE IS NO WAY WE SHAN'T SURVIVE WE MUST FIX THIS IMMEDIATELY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. Praise Jesus I was able to fix the problem. To sum up: HEAT.



2. Pediatricians. I miss our Philly docs. I had a very traumatic experience with our new pediatrician's office at Hendrik's 12-month visit (it involved a blood draw, a screaming baby, a mama instructed to get on top of the baby to hold him down, an inept medical assistant, and THREE separate employees who did not listen to the mother who told everyone HE DOES NOT NEED THIS TEST HE JUST HAD IT. You see? Trauma.) Feeling like the worst mother in North Texas, I vowed to find a new ped the old-fashioned way. (Remember being pregnant? Remember those awkward interviews?) I asked for recommendations in playgroup. Yesterday, I called the first doc. The receptionist acted like I was straight-up nuts when I asked if I could schedule an interview. Um, no, we don't do that. I mean, we do prenatal interviews. If you are pregnant. You can come in and like, get a pamphlet. I clarified: you mean, the doctor would meet with me if I was pregnant, but not with a child living outside of the womb? I called a second doc at 4:15, and the office was closed; the message mentioned that any after-hours call to a nurse cost $10, not billable to insurance. Wha?? So do they collect credit card information before a nurse will answer a question about diaper rash? In Philly, our nurse line was amazing. You could call at anytime, and they'd always ease the fears of a nervous first-time mom. Le sigh.



3. Health "insurance". This I won't belabor, but we switched to a high-deductible health plan. Shit is expensive, guys, and wellness is supposed to be covered. But then they apparently changed the definition of "wellness" to "nothing". So yeah. Pretty much nothing is covered. I think you were on to something, Michael Moore.

How do you all find a new doctor? Am I insane for wanting to meet? Are babies outside the uterus all chopped liver?

Uh oh. I did all that complaining and I don't feel better yet. Someone tell me something good.